Do you ever walk around the mall and wonder about people, about their experiences in life, financial situations, likes and dislikes? Or do you ever find yourself wondering about their sexual preferences? Most of you already know that in this day and age, you can't determine one's sexual preference just by looking at them. As a child, chances are you had very little knowledge of how men and women work, especially not about how men and women who prefer to have relationships with their own sex work! The truth is, people go their entire lives without never really understanding them, understanding gay people that is.

Growing up you might have heard the term "gay" used as an insult. It was something one kid called another before they began pounding each other purple. If you had older brothers or sisters, they might have told you it meant two guys or two girls that kiss each other. As you got older, you might have seen television shows with gay characters, people with gay tendencies in the super-market, or had that one kid in class that always hung out with the girls (and sometimes wore make up). Still you didn't know exactly what this meant.

As a senior in high school, I decided to get another job after not working for a year. My last job had a staff of about five people and half of them were related. Once I started my new job, I realized that I hadn't seen anything yet. I worked in a high-end retail boutique with almost twice as many staff members. Each of them was as different as the other. Eventually, I got to know everyone better, except one guy. I had never met him, especially since he only worked the morning shift. All I ever heard about him was that he was strictly into men and more flamboyant than a hot pink blouse. Naturally, this struck my curiosity. I wanted to meet him but, at the same time, I was nervous. Would I say the wrong thing? Or would he know by the look on my face that I have preconceptions about him? Don turned out to be a wonderful guy. He was almost like a girlfriend in the way he listened to my problems and gave advice. Whenever he would tell an exciting story, he would screech like a girl, and not laughing at him for it was the hardest thing to do. After meeting Don, I realized that although I've met a homosexual male, they are not all the same. Some are loud and proud, still others are much more reserved.

Even with that experience, I began to wonder about females who prefer their own sex. And with my luck, I happened to be working with one. Though I didn't know it at first, the assistant manager was also gay. It was one of those things that just unraveled. My co-workers and I began wondering about her "roommate" Cathy. It seemed that she was always going out to dinner and a movie with her. Finally, one of the guys asked her in a blunt manner, "Is Cathy your girlfriend?" Though I had always suspected it, it was still a big shock. Danielle was a girlie girl. She wore make-up, dresses, and even agreed with us when we thought we saw a cute guy. Again, that just goes to show that just because a woman is a lesbian doesn't mean she is going to act like a tough guy. Cathy (often passed for as a male) was exactly what I pictured a lesbian woman to look like. She was a little stout, spoke in a deep voice, and had a half-shaven head. But just like gay men, gay women are not always going to look and act the same way.

There could be several things that I still do not understand about Don and Danielle, such as why they cannot have relationships with the opposite sex. I wouldn't dare ask, for their reason or reasons may be far too personal. Perhaps they've encountered some kind of traumatic experience as a child and can no longer feel attraction to the opposite sex. They could have also grown up around a gay family member or in an openly gay community. Still, others say that they were just born that way. Whatever that reason may be, the fact that these people have chosen to live this way should be respected. Even though there has been a significant amount of progress, homosexuality is still not fully accepted in our country. Every day, thousands of homosexuals are harassed for what they are, and more than half of them will become victims of a hate crime at some point in their lives. People who claim to be homophobic often commit these horrible acts. The truth of the matter is that homophobia is caused by ignorance, and the lack of compassion and understanding.

Hopefully, most of you have reached the point where you can understand that you do not have to agree with homosexuality, but you can do your best to get to know the people around you better. Some day you might even find out first hand, that being gay doesn't impair one's ability to be a good friend.