Infertility is one of the most isolating and lonely experiences," says Anne Mullens (Zarzour 2). Many people suffer with the problem of conceiving children of their own, it's a very painful situation that is always hard to deal with. I know. I have had to deal with this firsthand. My husband and I have been trying to have a child for 3 years. When I finally had the courage to talk to my doctor about this, his response to me was, "Stacy, do you believe in God?" I quickly replied, "Yes." He further stated, "Well then when he thinks it's time for you to have a child you will. You're still young." I felt so defeated. I am 26 years old and have never been more ready to have a child than now. Does he feel I should wait until I am older? Then he can tell me I am too old to have a child. It is a medical problem. God will not just fix it. Over 15 to 20 percent of couples suffer the heartache of not being able to conceive. They often feel there is no hope or they are embarrassed and do not know where to turn (Zarzour 1). When they do turn to someone like I did, they feel rejected. "Infertility is NOT an inconvenience; it is a disease of the reproductive system that impairs the body's ability to perform the basic function of reproduction" (ASRM 1). People, especially doctors, need to realize this and learn to better understand the couple's situation. Doctors need to give couples options or advise them to see a fertility specialist. There are many options out there such as surgery, medicines and also Invitro-fertilization (ASRM 2). Couples need to learn to be strong together and not to blame each other because it is rough on a marriage. Problems couples might have to face are: not to place blame on each other; find out the facts about insurance; realize it might become expensive; learn to deal with the desperation of wanting a child; and finally to go on with their lives with or without a child.

Nobody can be blamed for infertility, any more than someone is to blame for diabetes or leukemia" (ASRM 2). It is usually believed that infertility is the woman's problem. That is untrue. It is a problem with the male just as many times as it is with the female. Problems male face with infertility are azoospermia and oligospermia. Azoospermia is when the male does not produce any sperm cells. Oligospermia is when they produce very few sperm cells. Female problems are usually ovulation problems or blocked fallopian tubes (ASRM 2). It can also be a combination of problems with both partners. So the first step a couple needs to do if they have had unprotected sex for a year without becoming pregnant is contact an infertility specialist.The problem with this is that many insurance companies do not cover infertility or if they do it is only a limited percentage. Insurance companies consider having a child a luxury not a necessity of life. The part I find interesting is that insurance companies won't help pay for the conception of a child, but if you go crazy from not being able to conceive, they will pay for the therapy. Although it is changing twelve states have laws that say insurance companies must pay for some treatments or diagnosis. The amount or how much depends on the state (ASRM 3). The prices of infertility can be quite high at times.
Fortunately for 85 to 90 percent of couples it is something that can be treated with drugs or surgery which is not as expensive as Invitro-fertilization (IFV). IFV is when they surgically take the females egg and the males sperm and combined them together and then return them to the woman's uterus. The procedure cost in 1993 was estimated at $6,233 (ASRM 3). Then there are couples so desperate to have children they turn elsewhere besides doctors. There are companies out there that use these couples desperation for their own profit. There are products ranging from thermometers at $15 to men's special cooling briefs that cost $795 (Zarzour 3). The reason the products sell is because couples are franticly searching for a solution.

Their desperation leaves them in a state of neurotism. Many couples resent family and friends that have children of their own. There is a Johnson and Johnson commercial where a woman is bathing her baby and singing to her every time I see that commercial it makes me cry. I am sure I am not alone in my feelings. Many couples even stop talking to friends because they found out they were pregnant. They avoid family because it seems everyone has some old wise tale on how you can become pregnant. Every month they feel more like a failure when they realize they're still not pregnant (Zarzour 3).

If you are someone suffering with this disease you can't let it tear you up. You need to be strong. You need to become confident and learn all you can about infertility so you can talk to the doctors about your situation. So you know whether to have hope and still try or to give up. If you realize it is time to give up don't feel despaired because you are upset. Its normal to be upset. Some couples have even been known to hold funeral services for their unborn children. "Couples need to mourn the loss of children they will never have," says Marie Morrisey (Zarzour 6). Either decision you make don't let it become your every waking thought. Go on with your life. Find others things that are important to you. Do something in your life you have been putting off. Something you have always wanted to do. It will cheer you up. That's what I did. I went back to school and it has helped me tremendously. It has taken my mind off of feeling sorry for myself and focused it on becoming more aware of the possibilities. I have also had more resources to learn more about infertility (Zarzour 6). I now learned to have more of a sense of humor about it. When people ask me, "Are you trying to have a child?" I smile and say, "You mean do I have sex with my husband? Yes, Yes I do." It baffles them every time.